Her Story: Lauren Castro
her |həː, hə| pronoun 1 used as the object of a verb or preposition to refer to a female person: Her story and faith are inspirational.
Lauren Castro has been a follower of Christ ever since she was saved by an abundance of true grace, through a mustard seed of faith. Lauren was born in Dallas, Texas, and raised in the Middle East, where she and her mother stayed after her father died in a car accident.
She returned to Texas alone at 17, and would come to know the Lord 10 years later after turning to everything but Jesus...through God’s mercy, she was called to be a daughter of the Almighty King. Lauren has owned 3 businesses including an online bakery featured on Cupcake Wars & Cake Wars. She currently owns and operates Place at Tyler, a wedding venue in Oak Cliff—which is also where she met the man of her dreams, her husband Michael.
We loved our time with Lauren and we know you will too. Read more of her story below or watch the Facebook Live video here!
Q&A with Lauren Castro
1. Can you share a little about your faith journey?
I grew up in the Middle East and after my father passed away, my mom remarried and my stepfather took us to a Catholic Church in the Middle East. We were surrounded by Islam, my nanny was a Hindu, and I don’t remember hearing a lot about Jesus at that time. I didn’t know who he was other than he was a way that some got to God.
In my twenties, I started going to church alone because I was seeking something. I was into psychics, horoscopes, crystals, and extreme drinking. On the outside, I looked very happy all the time. But very few people knew I was depressed. I was drunk all the time and self-medicating. I would do anything to numb the real issue—working out, trying medications—but I was so unhappy. I even made a plan to kill myself. But something hit me at that moment and I thought I should try talking to Jesus, just in case He was real. I just said, “I need you to save me if you’re real.” I went to sleep, woke up the next day, drove to my grandfather’s grave, and sat on his gravestone, and drank a gross beer to have my last drink. But ever since then, I just knew that Jesus was with me. I was in that apartment alone for a month unless I had to leave—I was just with the Lord. When I finally emerged, I just started walking with Him.
I used to say I chose to turn to Jesus — but the more I get to know my God, I know that He came to me and it’s only by His grace that I’m saved. I was at the edge of some very rough and scary waters—and Jesus just came down and removed me, and placed me into still waters surrounded by sunshine.
2. Faith is a journey and not somewhere you arrive. What were the seasons like when your faith was tested?
After starting a new journey with Jesus, I wanted to give God anything I could in my life to show Him how much I loved Him. For the next 3 years, I didn’t date. I just wanted to get to know God. (Which, by the way, I don’t always recommend! You should date—so you know what you like and what you don’t like. Just do it with wisdom!) I wasn’t worried about getting married at that time—I knew God would bring me my husband. So, I wrote a list of the qualities I wanted in a husband. I met this guy and he was very kind, sweet, and hard working. He was almost everything I wanted on my “list” but when I asked him if he loved and believed in Jesus—he didn’t say no, but he did not say yes. I remember where I was. I remember the weather outside. I remember the song on the radio. And I remember having a moment to decide to walk away, but I chose to proceed with him anyway. God always gives us a way out. I could have removed myself from the situation without all kinds of crazy things happening—but I was sure I could save him—and I was wrong.
We ended up getting married after he told me he found Jesus. As soon as we got married, he was denying the Gospel and wouldn’t go to church with me. He was going out, hanging out with friends who openly lived lifestyles of sin, leaving the house all the time, and eventually left altogether. After trying to get counseling, 5 months into our marriage, he filed for divorce. But the whole time—God was walking with me. Even during the divorce—which was horrible.
When I look back on it now I realize that he was some of the things on the list I made—but not any of the things that had to do with godly character. But I was willing to overlook those things because I thought I could “save” or “change” him. My husband today is ALL of those things on the list—plus things I didn’t even think to put on a list.
God redeemed everything—the home, the finances, my life. I feel stronger in areas where I was weak. It did shake my trust in God incredibly and my husband and I have had to work through a lot of that now. I've had to seek counseling for a lot of the trauma. But God has been so gentle, loving, and kind to just keep working with me.
I thought, as a Christian, I wouldn’t ever go through anything like that. But of course, we do! Of course, we are going to go through depression, trauma, abuse, or losing someone or something—but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad Christian. Jesus didn’t promise that we wouldn’t have trouble in this life—He promised he would be WITH us as we walked through it. I don’t care what God has to do or what He has to prune off of me—my only prayer is that He will always be with me.
3. Have you forgiven the people who have hurt you? How?
You’re catching me at a time where I can honestly say, yes. I have. But even 3 weeks ago, I had not. I would say I had forgiven certain people—but forgiveness has little to do with what the person did or if they are still doing it. You have to forgive them either way. It doesn’t mean you stay connected with them—but you have to forgive, for yourself.
I recently did a daily forgiveness exercise for 21 days. One day, the anger, bitterness, and hurt—just weren’t there anymore. I may have to forgive again tomorrow and the next day—again and again—and I will. But that’s just it—forgiveness is a process.
4. You recently got married to an amazing man—what advice do you give newlyweds?
Since we’ve been married, we started getting up and reading the Bible together. When we start to have a conflict, Michael will stop us and ask us to pray together. We hold hands and pray. Sometimes, I am so upset that I will purposely not pray, but I will hold his hand—and by the end of the prayer, my heart has softened. For us, the best thing has been getting up together and praying/reading the Bible first thing. Bringing God into everything we do. Also—I can’t stress the importance of having a community of people surrounding you that are FOR your marriage. People not in your corner or his corner, but people who are for the marriage.
But Michael and I have a ton of conflict. We have our good days and we love each other so much—but we are completely different on every level. The only thing that keeps us together and growing is Jesus.
5. What would you say to people who are in marriages where they can’t find resolution or trust?
I would say that if you’re in a place where you have come down to leaving or anything else—let the leaving be the absolute last resort. (Unless you are in real, physical or emotional danger—then, get out and seek help!) Seek godly counsel, talk to other couples who are Christians, and separate for a time if you need to. Whatever is coming up for you in conflict—even if they have 98% of the conflict and you have 2%—own 100% of your 2% and come together to try to find resolution. Leaving doesn’t help the issues you need to deal with within yourself. Whatever you didn’t work through with that person, you’re still going to have to work through it—alone or with the next person. Divorce is trauma. It destroys lives. Let it be the very last thing you ever consider, if at all.
6. Most of the battle is really in the mind—can you tell us what you do to fight negative and anxious thoughts?
I think the enemy loves to get us alone and isolated. You have to work toward your faith, even when you don’t feel it. Any thought that is opposite of God’s truth is from the enemy. I say, “Holy Spirit please come into my heart and my mind.” And I replace the negative thoughts with what God says about me.
7. What advice would you give to single people who are wanting to have a relationship—hoping and believing for a promise and desire of their heart to come to pass—but have to wait?
WAITING is the answer. Michael just popped up out of nowhere when I had given up on marriage altogether. I didn’t have to lift a finger. The gifts God just drops on you are the best gifts.
A WARNING: Men who come into your life who are not talking about Jesus — and seem like something is too good to be true. Just don’t. Don’t even go there. Run in the other direction if you have to — but do not do it. Find company anywhere else. Don’t let people into your life that flatter you and really they are not talking about Jesus and they don’t know him. Being “alone" is so much better than being with someone who is not God’s best for you.
8. How do you let go of the guilt you feel for past mistakes?
That’s something I really struggle with. I feel I sinned so much—purposefully. Any time I am failing, the enemy loves to come in and remind me of those things. But I’ve gotten really good at saying, “No — you can’t get me anymore.” I have to remind myself, almost daily, that those things are in the past, and this is now. Today is a new day.
When I’m in despair and hopelessness, I will look at the last year, and the year before, and I’ll keep going as far back as I need to—to see how far Jesus has brought me. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to where you used to be. When you are staying close to Jesus—there will ALWAYS be growth.
9. In the process of growing your relationship with God, how did it affect your friendships?
I lost pretty much all of my friends because I changed so much. But the way people started dropping out of my life at that time was actually really encouraging to me because I knew I was changing and growing. I was in constant prayer and reading the Word—so when I prayed that God would take anyone out of my life who was keeping me from doing His will—I really noticed that He will do it.
I had so many friends at that time, and now—I can count my friends on one hand. And I wouldn’t trade a single one of them for any of those people. These are people I have grown with—a true friend mourns and celebrates with you. They don’t leave when you’re doing better than them or leave when you are struggling.
10. What would you say to someone who has been hurt so much and the heaviness makes it hard to forgive?
Do the 21 Day Healing journey by Jimmy Evans. It will help you uncover lies that you believe about God that you don’t even know you’re believing. Make a list of whoever it is that you can’t seem to forgive, and every single day, pray for those people one by one—pray what you would pray for yourself or someone you love. God tells us to love our enemies and to do good to those who hate us—and it’s for a reason! It will free you!
11. What would you say to someone struggling with purity?
Sex outside of marriage will always bring pain, guilt, and shame. But there is nothing that God cannot redeem. To anyone struggling with sexual sin—don’t believe that you can’t start being pure in your relationships. If you are doing things like that outside of marriage—you are not developing real intimacy with your partner. You’re putting a band-aid on it, and then if and when you do marry that person, you’re going to have to go back and experience intimacy the right way—and it can be really hard. But you can do anything with Jesus if you ask him for the strength to do it.
12. Favorite scripture of the moment?
"So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power—within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.” Romans 7:14-25
Thank you for your beautiful authenticity, Lauren! You are truly inspirational and beautiful in every way!
We’ll see you all next month on November 4, 2020 at 7pm (CST) for our next Equipped by Faith first-Wednesday gathering. Be sure to follow us on social media @equippedbyfaith and subscribe to our newsletter at info@equippedbyfaith.com to receive weekly Bible Reading Plan devotionals, Equip Group meet-ups, and other special updates!
XO-
Equipped by Faith
